The Last Layer

Well, it's done.  I've cleaned out the storage room in the attic.  It's all been sorted and either kept, sold, given away or thrown out.  I found stuff from my mother, my father, and both sets of grandparents.  My grandmother lived with us until she died and I found her clothes and personal items including a ring I believe was cut off of her finger at the end.  I found lots of old photographs, funeral cards, greeting cards, fabric, sewing machines, hats and dresses.  I am still amazed that my parents kept all these things.  And then there was the stuff that I kept: diaries, letters, school notebooks, toys and mementos.  And the stuff I kept from my own kids, artwork, school papers, baby clothes.

The yard sale was surprising.  While putting stuff out, the kids had a chance to take what they want.  All three of them made some surprising choices.  The boys took my dad's things to remember him by which was nice.  Anna kept some things from her grandmother and a set if hand-painted spice tins that Margaret painted as a Christmas gift to my mother in 1953.  We had one couple show up Friday night while we were setting up and she was going through boxes pulling out things she thought I might like to keep.  She really was a help.  They bought a lot of stuff, but did not haggle.  I don't even want to know what their house looks like! 


At the yard sale people would ask and I would tell them it was "the last layer."  It feels good.  I know what I have, I know where it is and I can find it myself.  This is the first time in eight years that we and our stuff have been under the same roof, clean, organized and stowed away.  It's like a new beginning. 

Still trying

We had a videogapher come yesterday to make a video to try to sell our house.  We're going to get a QR on the sign in front of our house that will connect potential buyers with the video via their smart phones.  Chris says there will be an article in the paper touting the new technology.  

Since I had to set everything up, I thought I'd take some pictures. 

Crazy Lady

I yelled at a total stranger today.  This is the first time in my fifty-one years that I have done this.

I had my yearly gyno appointment today. School just ended last Thursday and I'm still not unwound, the stress of selling/not selling the house is weighing heavily on my mood, and I am on the brink of a period that has waited 10 weeks to show up. Yes, on the brink of a period, on the way to the gyno.  Now, while I have no experience having my monthly during my yearly, I'm guessing it's a no-go.  So that is on my mind.

I go through the toll booth to get on the turnpike and no ticket comes out of the slot.  A sign says to push the button if that happens, so I push the button.  No response.  I push the button again.  Again, no response.  I push the button maybe twenty times.  The guy in back of me starts to beep.  I pull away.  Let me preface this by saying that the same thing happened to me on the way home from the gyno the last time I went, so I knew what was to come.

I get off at Exit Two.  I come to the toll booth where a  pleasant man with a neatly trimmed gray beard wearing a blue shirt is standing.  I tell him I do not have a ticket, and tell him my experience at the turnpike entrance.  "No ticket!"  he exclaims.  "That's not good.  I have to charge eight dollars and ??? cents, the full price if you don't have a ticket."  I knew that part was coming, but the part that came next took me completely by surprise.

I explode.  I tell him how ridicules it was; what was I supposed to do?  He tells me I should have pulled over, gotten out of my car and looked for a guy in a blue shirt.  Really???  I reiterate about the button with no answer.  He tells me that because of Chris Christie's budget cuts they are short-handed.  I think I blacked out at that point.  I had an out-of-body experience where I saw a crazy woman unleashing her wrath upon a pleasant looking toll taker, something about being a teacher.  He never should have mentioned that man's name.

In the end, I threw my change at my purse, apologized, and drove away crying. 

I survived my gyno exam and am still waiting for my period.  Since arriving home I have chosen to immerse myself in the HLN coverage of the Casey Anthony trial in an effort to distract myself.

Greetings from Limbo

You might be wondering where we are in the process of selling our house and moving.  I know I certainly am.  We have a potential buyer.  He thinks he is a "shrewd negotiator", in Chris's words.  What that translates to is "asshole".  We have been in negotiations since February, maybe March; it really is hard to keep track.

So we have been concentrating on finding a new house.  No real luck there either.  Too big, too small, wrong neighborhood, one house bought out from under us.  I was very hopeful  about a house that we were supposed to see today.  It is also on North River Drive, across the street towards Churchlanding Road.  It is, from what we have heard, immaculate and well maintained, original owner going in to the Friends Home in Woodstown.  The taxes are one third of what we pay here.  Yes, one third.  (Oh, and last week we found our our tax appeal was denied so not moving is not really an option.)  It was not officially on the market yet, but it is Chris's listing and she got us in for this morning...or so we thought.  Last minute cancellation by the owner.  She decided she is not moving.  I realize this is probably a temporary set back, but I'm not taking it well.

Summer is coming and I'd like some idea of what is in store for us.  I'm tired of waiting, tired of keeping the house perfect, tired of not knowing where I'm going to live a year from now.

Other that that, all's good.

My Message from the Universe

This was my horoscope today:

Your horoscope for February 16, 2011

The time for planning and calculating is over, Megan. The time for taking aggressive action is now. If you don't have your armor ready, too bad. You will be thrust onto the battlefield with the rest of the troops even if you are in your underwear. The more you try to delay that which you know is inevitable, the more difficult a time you will have. Bite the bullet and charge full speed ahead with whatever armor you've got.

Thank you, Universe. I'll put on my big girl panties and get on with the business of making this move and stop crying like a baby.

Here's the thing. I firmly believe that these horoscopes are probably randomly computer generated. That doesn't make them any less helpful. The universe seems to get its message through either way.

Another move.

Yes, I said it. We're moving again. We listed our house on Saturday and begin to look at new houses this coming Saturday. We've been thinking about it since before Christmas, but it still is not feeling "real" to me.

You are probably wondering why. The answer to that is simple: money. Our house was reassessed last year and our taxes are outrageous. Taxes, combined with the mortgage we took out to pay debts and start Dragonfly is just too much to handle. While we have put a new roof on, installed a new heater and central air and new windows, we still have a ton of tree work to do and a kitchen to upgrade. It's too much.

In our favor, our mortgage is less than the house is worth so if we buy right we can greatly reduce our living expenses. Downsizing. Wouldn't you know I'd pick now to be trendy?

I've broken into tears many times over the last few weeks thinking about leaving the house I grew up in. I will miss it, but I'm coming to terms with it. We planned on staying here a few more years until Sean graduates from high school; it's not like we were planning on retiring here.

So where will we go? We'll stay in Pennsville, since Sean is still in school and Conor is going to SCC. We're looking for a place big enough to hold all of us, but not too big (downsizing, remember?). We are looking at a place on Saturday with a nice in-ground pool. The thought of the pool cheered us all up, something to replace the river that we can actually swim in. A place to entertain and sit and read books in the summer. I can live with that.